Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time the NZ gov't and the US gov't arranged a three way call and gave me a ring and said, "We were wondering if you'd like to live in New Zealand for a year on us? Not convinced? We'll throw in a free Masters degree to sweeten the deal. No no, don't worry about taking the GMAT or GRE, we got you. All we ask is that you speak in your hot American accent, learn how to blowdry your hair, learn a bit of Kiwi slang, give up shopping, and most importantly that you put yourself first and get real comfortable spending time alone. You will also never experience February 2, June 21st, or August 1st, 2010, but we will let you do June 10th, July 25th, and February 4th twice. Oh and one more thing, we forbid you to work".

Okay, so that's not exactly how it happened, and I won't lie and say it's always been easy or that the loneliness and homesickness weren't crushing at times - but if you asked me if I would do it all over exactly the same, I think you can tell that my answer would be a resounding yes. Even the not so choice moments (rewind to my flight here or being told to go home and learn about Native Americans) have all been worth it because they have taught me a lot, most importantly perspective.

And obviously I have a lot of people to thank for contributing to the truly outrageous fortune of this year -

-U.S. taxpayers and Fulbright NZ- if I haven't convinced you through this blog (considering my minimal discussion of my research), the Fulbright is an amazing program and it has changed my life. Even if you're not buying into the whole peace and understanding part, if you want your kids to be able to go live in NZ and get a free degree one day, just remember that when it comes time for voting

-My family - thank you for letting me go be selfish for a year and not making me feel bad for missing big events/gatherings/holidays back home. And thank you to my Mom and Allison for using up all your vacation time to come celebrate with me here.

-My friends - thank you for staying in touch so well and learning to use skype or google video, or sending me random links and photos to keep me in the loop and feeling like I'm still a daily/weekly part of your lives.

-Those of you who realized that mail does get delivered to New Zealand - thank you, I was excited and thrilled about every card, thank you note, Xmas photo, Save the Date, care package, flowers, etc.

-The Maori Orgs - thank you for making time for my academic pursuits and for being so frank and open in sharing your perspective. I not only learned a lot about climate change, but even more about values that I'll carry with me the rest of my life. And thank you for letting me crash your conferences and the heaps of kai, waiata, and Tohu wines

-Fellow Fulbrighters - thank you for letting this ol girl hang out with you ivy league youngins. and sharing in the trials and tribulations of adjusting to life and Fulbright and Kiwi randomness

-Matty NZed, Cap'N Steve, Anton and Amy, Jesse, the 505ers - thank you for befriending this American and for inviting me into your Kiwi lives/homes and letting me relax and forget about my research for awhile and making me feel like I really lived here

-The Sciascia Family - thank you for adopting me, feeding me, trying to matchmake for me, and generally making me feel like I had a family here

-Alice and Aaron - I couldn't have asked for a better living situation and frankly made everyone else jealous with what I had found with you two. I could go on forever, but thank you for letting me live in your awesome house with your awesome view and the new habits you've taught me, sharing meals and teaching me to make things from scratch, new music, sharing your friends, and putting up with all my inane questions from cricket to cars. Now get married already so I can come back for the wedding

-New Zealand - thank you for giving me the most gorgeous of padded walls to explore my mind, for being kind to me (through wallet loss and car probs, etc), for teaching me what meat is supposed to taste like, helping me appreciate simplicity, your quirky ridiculous humour and love for superlatives, and so much more

Thank you to all of you for supporting me in my Fulbright Fairy Tale. I hope I can repay the favor somehow/someday, so let me know.

Now I had planned on shutting this thing down, because frankly you must have had enough of the inner workings of my mind (I know I have) and as my friend Meredith says she knows what I eat for breakfast and what time I go to bed. But alas, I am moving to another capital tomorrow, so I'm debating what to do about that.....I had also thought I would be coming "home" and planned to say a few final words to the person who made the largest difference in my year here.....

To ME:

"Oh hey you, been a great year huh? It's been awesome getting to know you better. Thanks for laughing at all my jokes, you're pretty funny yourself too, and thanks for consoling me when things were rough and figuring out how to get through it. I'll never forget this year together....it's just that I think in order to grow that it's time we saw other people. It's not you, it's me"

Oh wait, uh awkward, I guess we're stuck together for a little longer? You better get some new jokes then.....

And as I think about the fact that I'm leaving NZ today I can't help but be sad, because its over, but I'm thrilled that it happened, although it all still feels totally surreal. And in surrealness, onwards to Italy

Italy I hope you're ready for the hot mess that is about to explode on your doorstep.....